Meena Mangalathil:

          So where did I leave? yes here, I really wanted to say that, I reached here safely by night (thank God he is OK). How is your studies? Well, I replied to myself, Oh, OK, I always think of you. Do not skip your study time. You should not idly waste your time. It is very important that you should study nicely and score high marks. Now I had an eerie feeling, that this letter is not a love letter, its just like what my mother and father sends me every month and a lot more and there was only one love in that letter, in the end part, lovingly Thomas.           God I was doomed. That heart feeling might have happened to my lungs, I didn’t reply. He wrote again and in that he asked why didn’t I reply, that was a change because my parents don’t ask me to reply, I write when I need something. But here he specifically wrote asking me to reply. What should I write for a person who asks me to study ...

                    My life was shuttled from one boarding to another according to my parents transfers and my brother’s naughtiness. My parents ensured that we study in mixed school as to avoid love affairs and the complications of facing the opposite sex. I think their idea really worked well for me. Since I had been in mixed school from kindergarten there wasn’t any difference between girls and boys. We were all “ Friends ”.           And boarding schools are the best place to thrive on intricate details of love affairs and love letters. But unlucky me I didn’t even get a single love letter in my school life and I really wanted to read a love letter because the person who gets it keeps it so secretly (due to fear of the boarding mistress getting hold of it) that any chance of a free read was impossible. My only relief was I had company in that sector ...

            It happened when I was a wife, I have not become a mother but we had lot of financial constraints and it was with great difficulty that we survived our daily expenses as we had to rely only on farm produce. We had our parents too and there were visitors regularly. So we couldn’t do anything but spend and spend and spend. I didn’t know that we were in real financial crisis. But one day I asked Thomas (my husband) to buy some Ladoos for me. I was expecting a 10 piece packet at the minimum, so when he returned home after shopping, he with a broad smile gave me a small packet. I thought it was a surprise gift, and I was surprised for sure but the gift was ladoos. There were only three. I asked, why three? Two for you and one for me. I couldn’t control my tears. I started howling out into my pillow, as I didn’t want anybody to know about my humiliation. On that day he told me his dire situation, his debts, his commitments as the ...

          So seeing death was a real rare gift, which we won’t be lucky to get every now and then, but I did get it one more time when I was near my aunty’s death bed. I call her Ammachi (meaning mother). She became my mother when I was 6 months old and she took care of me till I was ready to go to school and from then on she was my mother and mother to a lot of family members too. She was loved by all.           She was the only sister of my dad. She was a very kind lady. She helped a lot of people during her hay days. She was very generous to the poor. She loved her children dearly. She had her flaws, who doesn’t, but she was a very very loving person and very lovable too. So she had lots and lots of visitors when she was in her death bed, which as usual no one was aware of it as she had lots and lots of stints and near death calls. So as usual I came to visit her in hospital. When I reached her...

          Yesterday my kids missed the kiss of death by a hairline. They were saying that a tree fell just behind the autorickshaw they were travelling.   If they had come a second late then the tree would have been on that auto and ultimately on them. So it was a hairline escape.   Who is responsible for this –   the grand escape, Fate? or Destiny?           This last 12 months I had to witness many a deaths who were very precious to me. Seeing the simplicity of life’s end, sometimes I too feel like death is on my doorstep. But what is death? Do yuall have any idea? Where do they go after death? In the bible we have heaven ( a place for the good) and hell(a place for the bad). But it is also said that there would be no relationships in the other world. And I say the prayer “I Believe” everyday, so I’ll have to believe of heaven and hell. And that is where my title comes to play, “ D...

                     Sickness is one of the worst fears man has had to face from time immemorial and in India we are very much sympathetic for the sick, the poor, the needy, the old, etc... The Indian beggars have this trend of becoming sick and exploit the softness of Indian housewives. But last day I met a lady, who came begging for her mother-in-law while she slept. And the request was for sarees. Well, that was innovative. I asked her what will happen when she wakes up? And you know that there sure is an answer.           But the most funny experience came when my house owner, a very devotional and generous person gave a lady beggar a very good saree fit to wear for marriages, another cotton saree and Rs. 100 as part of the help extended to marry off her daughter. She was glad that she was able to help a poor girl to get married off. One month l...

          Today we had the best rains after a long wait, bringing in the most awaited coolness, quenching the thirst of all living beings and non living things. The first smell of wet soil, the dripping of water from trees, the scampering of animals, birds and humans for shade were the immediate physical response I saw while staying in the safety of my portico. And my first response was - a steaming coffee in hand   on a comfortable seat where I could watch both flora and fauna of the area.           For me the best experiences of life happened in the lap of the Western Ghats – Idukki district during rainy season. I have felt it is the best place to while away the rainy season and their coffee is the best and for me at that time, it was the most untouched place in the sense of no technology – with a battery operated radio, transportation – three buses a day, beauty – the craggy mountains, and ...

          My mother-in-law is the most conservative person I have ever spoken to. She is 90. She speaks only of the days past and she narrated one of her experiences of a boy aged 28, meeting her in a market place when she was 60. He was her friend’s son. When he saw her, he immediately recognised her and came to her and held her hand and talked to her openly in front of all the people there . She felt very odd, she was saying to me, “Just imagine what would the people think about our relationship? I know I’m old but still I’m a girl isn’t it? For me I felt funny, actually I had a real hard time to keep a straight face but for her it was a very humiliating experience.               Just imagine if she had openly said to my kids or the kids of this generation, it would be a cool party joke. But think about the fear she might   have had for sometime and even to speak about it too ...

            Today I had the oddest gift of all I have ever received – a belated birthday gift. And the gift was simply superb, a gift which no one would be aware of. But a loving gesture. And a techy gift too - My own website.             There are some moments as time passes doesn’t diminish the expectations and   anticipations of bringing something special, its the day we celebrate as our birthday. Though I’ve not set foot in the greying (hair) territory, I have been taking care of elderly people for some time. Their attitude, their tranquillity, their slow responsiveness, kind of set a trend in my heart too.             I thought, this year, I would just skip my birthday and lie low, with no cake or parties or new dress or gifts. But as the days neared I wished that someone would remember my birthday, or someone wou...

            Today I happened to read the poem “ Stopping By the Woods On a Snowy Evening ” by Robert Frost. The poignant moment and the stillness of the atmosphere could be felt so tangibly, that I too was aroused from the jingle of the horse the poet was riding. Actually I too often do the same thing as sitting idly (not on a horse, eh) when I have loads of work to finish. Its a break moment, where just our Self is watching the stillness of the inside (might be), we are not where we are, we are miles away from reality. After this elopement of the present, we feel a bit refreshed with a bit of yearning. And again falls back to our commitment.             Commitment is one thing, that we can’t forego. Its a mantle we have to wear from birth till death as a son/daughter, brother/sister, husband/wife/ascetic then as a father/mother/grandfather/grandmother,in profession, as a frien...

                As I was watching the movie “The Sound Of Music”, there is a scene where, ‘The Captain’, the hero introduces his children to the governess, ‘Maria’, the heroine. She was expecting the normal way of introduction, but to the contrary, the captain summons  his children with a  whistle  and the ensuing clamour and the fright that Maria gets , is so hilarious that for me it just stuck into my soul. Seeing the whistling part felt odd. But those who have had to rear kids, with or without mother would know the difficulty of bringing up kids, would find nothing odd in it.                 Seeing others children, we feel they are sooooooooooooo angelic and I was so happy, when I too had one. But as predicted they too were soooooooooooooooo angelic children until 4, from then till date I feel and like I have been tr...

            I was of the thought that risks were taken only by doctors, mountaineers, pilots and the zero risk takers were the house wives. But when I became a wife, a mother, a home maker I do not know a day, where I had to forego a risk. Actually to wed itself is a risk, isn’t it? If I had got the boon to see my whole life story of after marriage, like on a television screen when I see my would be groom, I think I would rather become a hermit or a recluse, than to go through the hardships of marital bliss and motherhood. I have a feeling that you too (especially mothers) would be of the same opinion.                 In Indian culture, the husband/fathers are more of the outdoor type, the macho man and the world rotator and the role of wife/mothers are to get to sponge the sweat of toil and use the gifts of toil wisely. This fruits of toil is the risk factor...

          I hadn’t thought talking would be so tiring for the listener. I felt that when we went to visit friends or relatives, its a compulsory thing that we had to talk, but if the visitor stays for the night, then what the protocol should be, its a bit confusing isn’t it? I do not know, for the past one week, I had this trend of overnight visiting relatives, big, small, young and old and luckily all in singles.           Anyway my family members were all present to socialise with them, and as a mother I could socialise them with sumptuous food, which I love to do and escape the talking part. And I was struck by the topics, each and everyone covered. Usually old and very far away relatives had loads and loads to ask to update their relative bio-data of all they know and it actually tilted into the gossipy part which kind of interesting to the younger ones too. But what about the kids who come alo...

          When in school I had to write an essay about Rolling Stone Catches No Moss topic a lot. At that time, I had nothing to write about or couldn’t understand why these teachers get so attached to this subject. But years passed and I went through to   become a teacher, a social worker, an administrator, a housewife, a mother and above all a very good friend to many and with lots of worldly knowledge and bookish knowledge and communicative knowledge. But then too I felt that people usually depicted nomads as the rolling stones. But for me I had an experience yesterday, which in life everyone might have encountered but not aware of it. Usually in families, the mother, the lady with the lamp, the light of the house, does all the work unconditionally. I was not aware of her sacrifices she goes through until I got that post. It was an insurmountable mountain which I trek every day and roll down from it a lot. So to my surprise experienc...

            Today morning, before the light of dawn, the birds chirping, it was as silent as a ghost house and to wake up around 4:30 is a nightmare which I have been experiencing for sometime , do you know why? to overcome my sleep hurdle. You might want to know, what happened to my sleep. Well I can be called the sister of Kumbhakarn.                          If you're an Indian you might know, who Kumbhakarn is, but I'll explain who he is. He is been depicted in the Indian Epic - Ramayan. He is the brother of Ravan, the demon king of Lanka. The specialty of Kumbhakarn is that he sleeps for 6 months continuously and eats for the rest of the year. If I hadn't had a rumbling stomach I'd have gone for the 12 month period one. In a cool climate its soooooo angelic to be sleeping covered cozily in a blanket. When mor...