Why are Teenagers Weird?

Hey guys!!!

 

Last day, my friend's daughter, a teenager, bunked (skipped) class and threw a tantrum(shouting with anger) when asked about it. Her parents gaped at her shocking behaviour. But in reality, she didn't feel like going to school, so she didn't go. It's as simple as that. We do it as an adult, don't we? And have you felt any odd about the situation?

 

Why do teenagers act weirdly?

    Well, first we should know what happens to a teenager at this age. When we plant a seed in the soil, it will be like a seed for some days in the soil. That is like the childhood of human beings. Before the seed sprouts, the body of the seed swells and bursts to bring out the leaf. That is what happens for a teenager too. Their whole body structure is being modified completely.

 

Let’s check in detail the fine print of human body of a teenager. The teenage years are also called adolescence. This is the time for growth spurts and sexual maturation. 

 

 

First we will check the physical changes in boys (ages differ for each individual. It’s an average figure.) 

• Start of puberty. Between 9 ½ and 14 years old.
• First puberty change . Enlargement of the testicles.
• Penis enlargement. Begins about 1 year after the testicles begin enlarging.
• Pubic hair appears. About 13 ½ years old. 
• Wet dreams (nocturnal emissions). About 14 years old. 
• Hair under the arms and on the face, voice change, and acne. About 15 years old.

The changes in girls :-

• Start of puberty. Between 8 and 13 years old.
• First puberty change. Breast development. 
• Pubic hair appears. Shortly after breast development.
• Hair under the arms. About 12 years old.
• Menstrual periods. Between 10 and 16 ½ years old

Now let’s imagine, how they were when they were kids. They were not even aware that they had any body parts worth a second look. And one fine day the whole body structure started changing (Imagine their shock). Their thoughts, feelings and emotions are in overdrive.  This, is the world of the teenager.

 

  

I remember, my parents were giving me class before me being an adolescent. They were explaining to me in detail what to look out for, and at that time, I didn't have a clue what they were talking. Believe it or not, now the kids are much more knowledgeable. If you parents can inform them before hand, they can prepare themselves for this onslaught of hormonal fireworks or else tackle it at the very beginning of change. But for that you should also be the best friend to the teenager or else, they will be like a ship passing by in the night, and you wouldn't know they are going through a phase.

 

Now let’s check how a teenager thinks.

• Develops the ability to think abstractly (Abstract thinking is the ability to think about objects, principles, and ideas that are not physically present)
• Is concerned with philosophy, politics, and social issues 
• Thinks long-term
• Sets goals 
• Compares himself or herself to their peers 
• Be independent  
• Peer influence and acceptance becomes very important
• Romantic and sexual relationships become important
• Falling in love  
• Has long-term commitment in relationship

 

The teenager would go to any extremes to follow what they are thinking. This is an age where they are  focused and do not fear failure. 

 

                                        

The problems that they face are due to:-

·       Wanting independence from parents

·       Peer influence 

·       Romantic and sexual relationships 

·       Love affairs

·       Friends 

 

Now I believe you have the general idea what your teenage kid is going through.

 

Why do a parent need to be a friend more and parent less in a teenager’s life?

Friends never command, they give suggestions and ideas and never makes decisions for others. But parents are exact opposite. They always make decisions for others. Remember, only a friend has complete access to a Teenager’s secret vault. And the world is not short of friends for teenagers. So decide wisely.

 

The easy way for every adult to accept a child as a friend is when you think the child as an adult.

What’s the difference?

Adults while they are with other adults, they talk less and hear more. That’s the only thing the child/teenager needs, “A hearing ear”. 

 

As a parent or as an elder, give the children the chance to make their decisions and make their own mistakes. When something goes wrong. Make sure you are there for them. Never judge them for their mistake. Look them in their eyes calmly and just tap on their shoulders and tell them, "It’s okay." And no matter what, "don’t open your mouth". If they have to talk, hear it completely. Since  we are as clueless of their thinking, and the only way to hear their thoughts is when they speak. And you as a parent make sure that for them, you should be their first and best friend where they can come before and after decision making.

 

After the day of the mistake, ask them like a friend, without judgment, "Is this what you expected? Where did it go wrong." Get their input, that's very important. And ask, what next? How to correct this situation. And make sure that you make them correct the mistake in a friendly way which is very very important to make them take responsibility for their actions. Never decide for them, make them decide again and again, until they gain confidence, responsibility and direction. 

 

 

Then I can say without doubt that your child before completing their teenage years, they would be ready to face the world and their choices fearlessly.

 

But if you are going to be a parent or a teacher, always lording and watching over them, then believe me, you would have a teenager your entire lifetime. So decide wisely.

 

 

Sometimes, they ask your opinion? Never say it. Why not?

They have their own opinion. So, make them say their opinion openly, find if there are any flaws, ask them "What will you do if that flaw happens?" Then they will get to know that there is a flaw and praise them for having right opinions and while praising, include some admiration on your face, please. (Ps// If the news they are conveying is shocking, don't forget to make your face blank. This is the age where they take extreme steps.)

Now you are officially a friend of "The Teenager".

 

I always would like to say to adults, please don't wait for kids to become a teenager to accept them as an adult. When a child starts talking, treat them as an adult. Include them in both your joys and sorrows. Include them in your decision makings too. If you are strong enough you can openly air your mistakes too. So that they too can learn from your mistakes.

 

Believe me they have the best ideas (Simple thoughts of kids creates simple life) and they are more than capable to understand us than we them. Then the  teenager’s transition from childhood to adulthood will be much more smoother than you imagine.

        

Take care guys and enjoy life.

 

Bye

Meena